Don’t let the diminutive size of Sometimes I Feel Like a Nut: Essays & Observations fool you—it’s filled with big laughs, emotions, angst and enough four-letter words to get Kargman kicked off “The View.”
The author is a New York City mom, wife, writer of successful
“beach-reads” such as Wolves in Chic Clothing, and a cross between David
Sedaris and Sarah Silverman.
The title of her book refers to the catchy 1970s advertising slogan for Almond Joy and Mounds candy
bars, “Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t.” But, as the
author writes in her opening sentence, “The irony is I fucking hate
coconut.”
With those first words it should dawn on the reader that this hilarious collection isn’t gleaned from the pages of Mothering
magazine—although it should be, because most mothers deal with the same
issues such as experiencing a difficult childbirth and coming out of it
with a “mommy vagina as big as the Holland Tunnel,” or surviving
harrowing family road trips or being diagnosed with cancer at a young
age.
With her sense of irony and humor, Ms. Kargman laughs at moments others might cry over, but the author cites movie genius Woody Allen’s Magical Math Equation as her mantra: comedy = tragedy + time, and runs with it.
Reading the short essays about her life—from childhood to
mommyhood—you learn quickly that Ms. Kargman’s filter has somehow been
misplaced. It’s no surprise that she didn’t fit into the swanky boarding
school she tricked her parents into sending her to as a child or that
she truly believes she is a gay man trapped in a woman’s body.
“I can perform a one-woman version of most Broadway shows,” she
writes. “But it’s not just ’cause of an affinity for original cast
recordings that I’m a poof. I’m drawn to gay men. I love their style.
Okay, maybe not the bear scene at Rawhide on lower Eighth avec full
chauffeur hat and leather vest over flesh. But in general they are
gorgeous! And tasteful. And interesting. We like the same things.”
As the reader ventures further into this book, they might be prone to
flipping back and forth to the regal photo of Ms. Kargman on the book
jacket while trying to digest sentences such as, “As a child I hated her
so much I literally wanted to go and find the actress who played her
and murder her and chop off her blond curls,” when referring to Nellie
Olson from the “Little House on the Prairie” TV show.
Throughout the book the author shares her fears of clowns, mimes and
vans—the Chevy and Ford kind—mostly because she knew a child who was
kidnapped. But also because she has obviously been scarred by the movie,
Silence of the Lambs. But who wasn’t?
While some readers might get turned off when reading about tampons,
her precocious kids using inappropriate words in public and her dislike
of Eagles band member Don Henley, her honesty in discussing her bout
with a rare and deadly cancer makes up for the gazillion F-bombs that
appear throughout the book almost as often as the page numbers.
Popping into her dermatologist’s office for a little Botox, her
longtime doctor not only refused to inject a little botulism into her
forehead, but he missed the mole on her thigh that had been bleeding for
more than three years. Her new doctor quickly diagnosed it and gave Ms.
Kargman the news that she had a rare skin cancer. An operation—and
vanity—saved her life, and readers will be impressed with the way this
mom/wife/nut faced death. (Spoiler alert: She faced it with tumor
humor.)
Sometimes I Feel Like a Nut is more than funny, more than insightful and more than a guilty read.
Reviewer
Candice Reed is co-author of
Thank You For Firing Me! How to Catch the Next Wave of Success After You Lose Your Job (Sterling
Publishers, 2010). Currently, she is a freelance journalist,
copywriter, and speechwriter. Ms. Reed was also a ghostwriter for a
former president. She has published more than 5,000 features, essays,
articles, and book reviews.